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Amy & Shannon

Amy & Shannon

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Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Two Officers Sentenced In Bullnapping Trial



One Day after the Bullnapping at Role 3 two naval officers, Shannon and CDR Coffel, were put on trial for their part in the infamous bullnapping of Shannon's bull. Shannon was charged with "Willfully neglecting the discharge of her designated duties to dutifully deny a bunch of dudes from dreadfully abducting and detaching the dang bull from her digits", and mid trial one count of "D-ringing a steer" was added. In Shannon's testimony she stated "I attached a carabineer to the bull to help prevent this very thing from happening". CDR Coffel was charged with one count of conspiracy.

Presiding over the trial were three judges, Role 3 Commanding Officer, the Executive Officer and the Command Master Chief. All hospital personnel were commanded to be present at the trial. The court was called to order and the witnesses were sworn in with "Do you swear to tell the whole shit, nothing but the shit, and no bull shit so help you John Paul Jones?"

During his testimony CDR Coffel stated "The bull was politely taken while she [Shannon] was restrained". At trials end Shannon was found guilty of all charges. CDR Coffel was found guilty of being the "Chief conspirator" and he was sentenced to "Carry and pamper the bull to include day spas, manicures & pedicures, showers, baths, washings and open air walks for a period of 24 hours, at which time he will provide photographs to document these events and the bull will be returned to it's rightful owner". The bull was then handed over to CDR Coffel and the trial was adjourned.

POST SCRIPT:

While in the protective custody of CDR Coffel the bull was abducted. Rumors at Role 3 are that he is now in Landstuhl Germany.

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